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Alt 26 Mart 2015, 00:37   #1
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Method for Defense against Scorpions Kitap Özeti




People are surprised, fearful and even indignant over the considerable proliferation of scorpions which threatens Buenos Aires, a city which until quite recently had been entirely free of this particular genus of arachnid.

Unimaginative individuals have recourse to an overly traditional method of defense against the scorpions: the employment of poisons. The more imaginative fill their houses with toads, frogs and lizards, in the hope that they will devour the scorpions. Both groups fail abominably: the scorpions firmly refuse to ingest poisons while the reptiles refuse to ingest scorpions. Both groups, in their ineptness and haste, succeed in one thing only: to exacerbate - even more, if possible - the hatred which scorpions profess toward all humanity.

I have a different method. I have attempted, unsuccessfully, to disseminate it; like all trailblazers, I ** misunderstood. I believe my method to be, in all modesty, not only the best, but the only possible method of defense against the scorpions.

Its basic principle consists of avoiding a direct confrontation, of engaging in brief but risky skirmishes, of concealing our enmity from the scorpions. (Of course, I know that one must proceed with caution, I know that the sting of a scorpion is fatal. It is true that if I were to stuff myself into a diving suit I would be completely safe from the scorpion; it is no less true that if I were to do that the scorpions would know, with complete certainty, that I fear them. And I ** very much afraid of scorpions. But one mustn't lose his equanimity.)

An elementary measure, one which is effective while free from overemphasis on violence and ominous theatricals, is composed of two simple steps. The first is to tie the cuffs of my trousers with very taut rubber bands; this is to prevent the scorpions from crawling up my legs. The second is to pretend that I suffer greatly from cold and to wear a pair of leather gloves at all times; this is to avoid being stung on the hands. (More than one negative spirit has pointed out only the disadvantages that this method entails in the summer without recognizing its undeniable and more general merits.) The head, however, should be left uncovered; this is the best way of presenting the scorpions with a brave and optimistic image of ourselves. Besides, scorpions are not normally in the habit of hurling themselves from the ceiling onto the human face, although at times they do. (This, at any rate, is what happened to my late neighbor, the mother of four cunning little kiddies, now orphans. To make matters worse, these facts give rise to erroneous theories which only serve to make the struggle against the scorpions more arduous and troublesome. As a matter of fact, the surviving husband, with no adequate scientific basis, affirms that the six scorpions were attracted by the intensely blue color of the victim's eyes and adduces as flimsy proof of such a rash assertion the fact, totally fortuitous, that the stings were distributed in groups of three to each pupil. I honestly believe that this is a mere superstition dreamed up by the cowardly mind of this pusillanimous individual.)

Fernando Sorrentino
Translated by Clark M. Zlotchew

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defense, kitap, method, scorpions, Özeti


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